So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
