I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Enjoy the penises
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
