in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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