I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
