My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
