I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize