White coat. Heels.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
