That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
