lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
