it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
