well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
