Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why do cheetos always look like penises
pop tarts are not kleenex
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
