one two three fourrrrnication!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize