you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
