I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's the barista slut.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
