He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
