who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm bleeding and have questions
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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