so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
