no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
