Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
