The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
