Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
