Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
