clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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