he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
