I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
