absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sorry my hands just texted you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
