i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I didn't shave. On purpose
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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