im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize