I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize