She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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