well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
