you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
