Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
