I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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