Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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