I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
