We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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