Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
