biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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