that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
