Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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