i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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