Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
