Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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