Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
