well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
