A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
