3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
