things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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