I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
