Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i will never coherently bang her
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So squirting runs in the family.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
