what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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