i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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