Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
