Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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