I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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