A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
