Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
