i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
