come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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