Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
