I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
