I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
