I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize