just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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